The World Race - Pam Wilson

Big Changes Are Here

Thu, 10 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I have BIG news that you all need to hear about ....

Just after I got home from The World Race, God gave me a dream. This dream was in really vibrant colors and bathed in gold. In it a man came up and prayed for me, which led me to feeling so free and happy. There was a new type of freedom I was walking into; a release from home into something new and different. That dream has led me to be a part of The World Race India Initiative. This is a team of five women who have committed to a two-year term with Adventures In Missions. For the first six months we will be training, planning and fundraising in Gainesville, GA. The next year and a half our time will be in India reaching out to both young girls and woman sold into prostitution. The need is great and the work is hard but it is what my heart beats for, what I can't wait to do.
What a task lies before us. And here is where you come in . . .

During my short time in the states my goal is to build a team around me to walk with me through this next step of my journey. I need people like you to commit to pray for our team and me as we prepare for life in this very needy place. I am looking for people to partner with me in prayer support, financial support or both. My immediate need is to raise $10, 000 by January 15^th, 2012. My long-term financial need is to raise $1500 per month, which will cover my housing, food, transportation, and other basic needs. I am also looking for people to pray for specific times on specific days to cover me throughout each week. Prayer-wise just let me know what works for you and I'll put you on my list, so grateful for your involvement. Financially I am praying for people to partner with me monthly in the following ways:

1 person at $200 per month

3 people at $100 per month

4 people at $75 per month

9 people at $50 per month

10 people at $25 per month

Would you prayerfully consider partnering with me this holiday season to bring love and hope to young girls and women in India? If it's possible for you to commit to helping financially and prayerfully, one-time gifts are so appreciated but monthly would help immensely.

You can partner with me in one of several ways:

Adventures.org/dynapay-fill out this form online, it allows money to come directly out of your checking account and does not charge a fee to my account.

Pamwilson.theworldrace.org-click on the "support me" link on the left-hand side and follow the instructions

Snail-mail-send check to: Adventures In Missions PO Box 534470 Atlanta, GA 30353-4470. Please put Pamela Wilson in the memo line.

Thank you so much for being willing to consider making a lasting impact in India by joining me prayerfully, financially or both.

A Whole New World

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I need to begin this blog by apologizing to all of you for the lack of blogs this year. Blogging is not something that comes easy to me so I always feel that I have to get everything just right before I post it for everyone to read. Somewhere along the way I forgot that those of you reading my blog are happy to know the everyday things about my life on the race. You want to rejoice when I rejoice, laugh when I laugh, and cry when I cry. This has been the most amazing experience of my life and it would not have been possible without the help of all of you. I arrive back in the states in 10 days, and I hope to have the opportunity to spend time with each of you to share the many wonderful things God has done in and through me this year.

With all of that being said, I want to try to catch you up on what has been happening in my last two months on the race. When we first arrived in Romania from India my team and I experienced a bit of culture shock. For the first time in a very long time things like soft beds, hot showers, wi-fi, and trash cans were available to us for use whenever we wanted. The first time I went into a grocery store I walked around in a daze. There were so many choices that I did not know what to do! Also, they drove on the right side of the road, used turn signals, and mostly remained in their own lanes, but just to remind us we were not back in America yet the cars had to share the road with horse drawn wagons. (We even got a ride home from church in one of them!)

While in Romania, we partnered with the wonderful group of believers at Hope Baptist church in the village of Dragonesti. For most of the month my team and I walked the streets in nearby villages handing out tracts, sharing the gospel, and inviting people to various activities at the surrounding churches. We met many people with varying beliefs while doing this but one thing kept coming up again and again. These people truly believed that God should let them into heaven based on their works. They believed that if they had done more good than bad in their lives then God would HAVE to let them into heaven. My team and I did our best to share with them the good news of Jesus and how salvation only comes through him but in the end I am not sure how much the people actually believed us. My prayer is that the time we spent with these people is only the beginning. May the Lord send many more workers to this field to reap the harvest of seeds He has planted through His people in Dragonesti.

As I mentioned earlier in this blog, I will be returning home to the states in 10 days. I ask that you would prayerfully consider helping me with the cost of getting from New York back home to Alabama. The total cost of my plane ticket, baggage fee, transportation between airports, and one meal is around $215. I would appreciate any help that you can give. If you would like to help, just email me at Pamela.wilson2273@gmail.com or click the contact tab on the left side or top of the blog and I will let you know how to do it. God bless each one of you!!!!

From The Inside Out

Mon, 2 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I grew up in a wonderful family. As a small child I knew the love and security that came from the unconditional love and acceptance of my parents. It came as a complete surprise when I began school and for the first time in my life encountered people that did not like me simply because of the way I looked. You see, I was the fat kid that everyone loved to call names. I was made fun of mercilessly by these kids from the time I began school until I was in high school. In fact, I did not have someone I considered a real friend until I was in middle school.

These events had a huge effect on shaping the way I viewed myself and everyone around me. I became a people pleaser without even realizing it. I had a huge desire in my heart for deep and meaningful relationships with others, but those relationships could only go so far because I was putting people in God's place in my heart. God began speaking to me about this the very first month on the race. He revealed to me barriers I had put up in my heart that kept me from feeling his love as well as receiving the love of those around me. In short, I felt unworthy of love from anyone, especially myself. I realize now that God placed a lot of amazing people in my life. These people genuinely love me for me, but I did not know how to accept and feel that love for myself. I felt I had to work very hard to earn love from anyone, even God. I was loving out of my own strength and doing anything I could to feel worthy of love in return. I had all this knowledge in my head that God and others love me so I should love myself, but the problem was that it was only head knowledge. None of it actually reached my heart.

As we ended our time in Africa, God made it apparent to our squad leaders that it was time for a team change. In my heart, I guess I knew the change was coming, but I was so scared to give up these people I had been with since the beginning of the race. They knew my story. They knew my strengths and weaknesses. They pushed me to be a better person than I have ever been before. I had given my heart and soul to Agape and I was so scared I had nothing left to give to a new team. God knew that I had nothing left and that is why He made the change.

Almost from the beginning, I felt a difference when I was with my new team. Since I thought I had nothing left to give, I simply gave myself. We were basically the only English speaking people in the tiny village we were in for the month so we had lots of time to get to know one another. I shared from my heart and did the things that bring joy to me and to my surprise they also brought joy to my teammates.

I felt a love and acceptance from my new team unlike I had ever felt in my life, but something was still missing. I did not know how to feel the Father's love for me and so I still felt unworthy of love, even from myself. In my head I knew God's love for me but getting that knowledge from my head to my heart is something I have struggled with the entire race.

Toward the end of our time in Nepal our team took a trip to the Chinese border and a hot spring about three hours from where we were staying. As we were walking down the mountain from the border to the hot spring, we were all lost in our own thoughts. I was thinking if I can just lose 45 more pounds then I can say that I am pretty, and I can be confident because I will be a good size and not feel inferior anymore. These and so many more thoughts were running through my mind when suddenly I felt God say to me, "Stop saying all those things. You are my daughter and I love you just as you are. It does not matter if you lose 45 pounds or gain 60. I still love you. I have always loved you and I will always love you. I have put people around you here and at home that love you. Now it is time to start loving yourself." For the first time in my life this actually connected in my head and heart. As I realized this I got a huge smile on my face and actually began to skip down the mountain. Since that moment I have been walking in a new found confidence and love. This love comes from the Father and overflows to everyone around me. I don't have to love in my own strength anymore! All I have to do is rest in Him and His love flows from the inside out to others simply by being myself and using the gifts He has given me!

No One is leaving

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

But... 6 of my squad mates will be, unless you help in the next two days.

Christopher Garcia, Jeannie Moore, Curt Devine, Lacey Malcomson, Leyna Quintero and Janelle King do not have plane tickets booked to India because they are not fully funded. They will be flying home.

AIM cannot purchase their tickets on MONDAY if they are not fully funded by SUNDAY MARCH 20TH.

I know this is drastic and sudden, but we just got the news and the weight of it is heavy.

I cannot do this race without them. R Squad cannot finish this race without them. The Lord has provided OVER FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS for R squad thus far. $400,000 people! We are only in need of around $13,000. NOTHING for what God can do. Nothing we as the body of Christ cannot do right?

I am asking you, pleading you to help in any way you can. AIM is asking for donations and they will even take pledges. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS MAKE A PROMISE of something you can give between now and July. All you need to do is email me at Pamela.wilson2273@gmail.com telling me what you can donate and I will pass the information along. ANY AMOUNTWILL HELP. Do not let the enemy win by saying 5 dollars will not do anything, it will. Please pass this blog along to anyone who will read it.

I also am asking you to cover them in prayer, and our squad, as this is a heavy and stressful time for all of us. Perfect Love casts out all fear.

We have 48 hours to watch God do a miracle... or as I like to think it throw some chump change around.

Thanks so much, love you all.

God Is Moving! Play Your Part...

Mon, 7 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

After 172 days of ministry in six different countries, we (R-squad) have seen God do some incredible things. From restoring the lives of gangsters in The Philippines to redeeming women in the sex trade of Thailand and healing crippled widows in Kenya, He has made the impossible possible. The journey is only half over and yet we've already seen that the Kingdom of Heaven is more than an abstract idea or a fantasy to hope for-it's a reality to live in. In the next five months, we plan to take this kingdom to Tanzania, Nepal, India, Ukraine and Romania. We will continue to be the hands and feet of Christ, working for the least of these, loving the world as God loves it-but we need your help.

As a squad (31 members), we owe about $30,000 by March 15. Knowing that God has been faithful to get us this far, we have full confidence that He will continue to provide. But for the sake of glorifying His name and staying united as a squad, we want to take care of this burden together and meet the deadline once and for all. Whether you're a broke college student or fortune 500 big shot, we want to invite you to take part in what God is doing in and around us, no matter the amount. Let's show the world that money isn't an issue when it comes to bringing Christ to the nations.

We have two options available for giving. You can follow the Paypal link below and give any amount to our squad. This account is NOT tax deductible. Tax deductible donations can be made into the AIM accounts of individual racers linked below. The Paypal account is a general fund for the squad, co-managed by our squad leaders, Michael Perez and Joni Viets. Any extras funds will be used for ministry opportunities that arise on the field. We're excited to see the miracle God is about to do.

Thanks and much love,

-R-squad

Paypal: http://bit.ly/eTzz5g

Racers:

Chris Garcia:
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For%20Chris%20Garcia&tuid=7571665

Heidi Tobe:
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For%20Heidi%20Tobe&tuid=7571671

Curt Devine:
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For%20Curt%20Devine&tuid=7571671

Jeannie Moore:
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For%20Jeannie%20Moore&tuid=7571671

Janell King:
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For%20Janell%20King&tuid=7571671

Michael Perez:
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For%20Michael%20Perez&tuid=7571876

Pam Wilson:
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For%20Pam%20Wilson&tuid=7571874

Sarah Patterson:
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For%20Sarah%20Patterson&tuid=7571876

Carmen Oswalt:
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For%20Carmen%20Oswalt&tuid=7571876

Bridget Mcnamara:
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For%20Bridget%20McNamara&tuid=7571876

Leyna Quintero:
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For%20Leyna%20Quintero&tuid=7571876

Bethany Dragon:

https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=For%20Bethany%20Dragon&tuid=7571876

**A huge thanks to Curt Devine for creating the blog and video!

Lessons From the Race (Part 2)

Mon, 17 Jan 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Malaysia was a different kind of month for me. I felt as that God was saying it was to be a month of ministry to one another. Over the course of this month, I was very blessed to spend time with women on our squad that I don't often get a chance to be around. Through these times God built lasting relationships and taught me a lot about his love and the power of sharing our testimonies with one another.

As I was nearing the end of my time in Malaysia, God spoke to me about the gifts he has given to me. Even before the race began, I asked God for gifts of speaking in tongues and prophesy. I wanted these gifts so much and honestly was a little jealous of those who possessed them. One night during worship God clearly showed me that every gift is from him and none is more important than the other. He told me he had given me the gift of encouragement and a heart for "the least of these". What a blessing it was to realize the things that come most naturally to me and bring the most joy are God's gifts to me!

In Thailand, God taught me a that He is a God of relationship. As I was surrounded by statues and shrines to Buddha and other gods, I was reminded that no matter how fervent the prayer to them, these gods cannot answer. I am so thankful that I serve a God who wants me to come to him with all of my joy and sorrow. He shares in my joy and helps to bear the sorrow. I am thankful just being in his presence brings joy and peace. Most of all I am thankful that I don't have to do anything special or be anyone other than who I am. He desires to spend time with me just as I am.

As I close out Asia and head to Africa, I would sum up my race thus far in four words: identity, freedom, joy, and peace. I do not know what Africa holds, but if it is anything like what I have experienced so far I look forward to every minute of it.

Lessons from the Race

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 00:00:00 GMT

As I reflect on the first four months of my World Race, I realize God has taught me some really valuable lessons that I would like to share with you.

During my first month in the Philippines, God began to break through the barriers I had placed in my heart and speak truth to the lies I believed about myself. For over half of my life, I had told myself that I was not worthy of love. I believed that I was never good enough for anyone or anything. I became a people pleaser and learned that doing things for others sometimes led me to feel accepted. Ultimately, this caused a lot of pain, but because it was such a defining part of me I had held on to it for years. Through the prayers and support of my team and the love of the children at New Faith Family Children's Home, God shattered that lie. I now understand that through Jesus I am 100% loved and accepted. I can do nothing to make Him love me more and I can do nothing to make Him love me less. What an amazing burden lifted when this knowledge finally reached the depths of my heart!

My second month in Cambodia was a difficult one. As I shared in a previous blog, I had an overwhelming sense of heaviness almost from the moment I entered the country. I had no explanation of the cause and no matter what I did I could not get rid of the feeling. When I finally reached my breaking point, I cried out to God with a sincerity I had not felt in years. At that moment God began to minister to me, but because I was in so much pain I was not able to recognize it. A few days later, again through the prayers of my team, I began to feel some of the heaviness lift and I was able to enter into true worship for the first time since being in Cambodia. Through this experience, God taught me that worship is the key! Worship is a choice. It is a lifestyle. Basically, what God showed me is that it does not matter what I am feeling; as long as I hunger and thirst for Him and worship Him with all I have in me, at THAT moment He will always meet me where I am. He is faithful. He is good. His love never fails.

As my time in Cambodia was coming to an end and Malaysia was fast approaching, I asked God to show me the things in my heart that should not be there and I asked for him to consume those things with his holy fire so that I could be more like him. It was then that God revealed to me the source of the heaviness I had been feeling. It was a deep sense of rejection. It saturated all of my relationships. I lived in fear of doing or saying the wrong thing and losing the ones I tried so very hard to hold on to. He told me that the reason I had so much fear of rejection in my life was because I put other people in the place in my heart that was designed only for Him. As long as I did this I could only experience rejection. When I began to give God his rightful place, the heaviness lifted and I have been able to love those in my life from a place of joy and freedom I never felt before.

Worship is the key (Cambodia Part 1)

Tue, 23 Nov 2010 00:00:00 GMT

This blog is long overdue, but to be perfectly honest it is one that I have had a great deal of difficulty writing. The difficulty comes not in sharing but in having the words to express all that has been going on in my heart during the last month. There have been periods of soul searching pain and moments of pure joy.

From the moment I set foot in Cambodia I had a heaviness in my heart that I could not explain. I thought it was just sadness because I had to leave those in the Philippines that my heart had grown to love, but as the days moved on the heaviness did not leave. In fact, it intensified. To add to the heaviness there was a frustration caused by things I could not identify. I also struggled with sickness for the first couple of weeks we were there.

I remember pouring my heart out to God one evening. For the first time in years I did not try to say the right things in my prayer. I simply talked to him like he was my friend. I told him how I was in both physical and emotional pain. I confessed to him that at that moment I did not even know what I was doing on the race. As I was praying, the song Holy of Holies entered my mind. I just kept singing it over and over. The part that stuck out to me was, "Lord I hunger and thirst for your righteousness and it's only found in one place. Take me into the Holy of Holies. Take me in by the blood of the lamb. Take the cole, cleanse my lips, Lord here I am." As I look back I can see that God was trying to speak to me through this song but at the time I was hurting too much to realize it.

Things continued like this for a couple more days with both my physical and emotional pain intensifying. Finally, after seeing a doctor for the physical sickness, I asked my team to pray for me. When they prayed I experienced a breakthrough. For the first time since being in Cambodia, I felt some of the heaviness lift. (The rest of the heaviness did not lift until a couple of weeks later. Look for part two to find out the source of the heaviness.) The next morning while worshipping with my team, I felt as if I were truly in the presence of God. I was happy and free. I was even able to pray with a sincerity and passion that I had not had since being in Cambodia.

God continued to show me what He began just a couple nights before: Worship is the key! The kind of worship I am talking about is not just a few minutes during a church service, or when you are driving alone in your car. It is not even when you have your favorite worship music playing on your ipod. The kind of worship I am talking about is all of that and much more. It is a choice. It is a lifestyle. Basically, what I am saying is that God showed me, it does not matter what I am feeling. As long as I hunger and thirst for him and worship him with all I have in me at that moment he will always meet me where I am. He is faithful. He is good. He loves me because he loves me and there is nothing I can do to make him love me more or less!

I Need Your Help!!!!

Thu, 28 Oct 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I want to begin by saying thank you to all of you who have already been supporting me. I would not be on this journey if it were not for you. With that being said, I need to ask for your help once again. I need to raise an additional $2,610 by December 13th to continue on the race. I am asking that you prayerfully consider partnering with me as I travel and share the love of Christ with people all over the world. You can choose to give a one-time gift or partner with me monthly. A gift of any amount would be greatly appreciated. If you would like to partner with me in this journey, you can do so by clicking the link on the left side of the blog page that says support me. If you would like to give by check you can send me a message and I will let you know how to do it. All donations are tax deductible.

If you are not able to partner with me financially, I ask that you please pray with me that the needed funds will come in. Please pray that God will open the storehouses of heaven and provide the needed funds so that this will be the last blog I have to write about finances.

The race has already been amazing in many ways as well as challenging in others, but through it all God is faithful and has been teaching me many things. There will be more about that to come in future blogs. I love you all and I pray God's richest blessings for you.

I am including a video (made by my teammate Ashley) so that you can see what you have already enabled me to do. I hope you enjoy it!!!

Vision and Revelation

Sun, 17 Oct 2010 00:00:00 GMT

A few years ago I had a vision. I saw myself at my home, though not the one I lived in at the time, surrounded by lots of children and a few women. I was a new Christian at this time and did not know what to make of this vision. I asked God, "What does this vision mean for me?" I waited for an answer, but one did not come. Eventually I forgot about this vision.

At training camp for the World Race God reminded me of that vision. One of the nights we had a speaker who talked about the plight of orphans all over the world and my heart felt as if it were breaking into a million tiny pieces. It was then that God revealed to me the meaning of the vision.

My part in bringing the kingdom to earth will be with orphans.

During my first month on the Race, I have been able to experience the joy and pain of loving and caring for some of the beautiful children of the Philippines. I will never forget how helpless I felt when one of the babies I was caring for was sick. Her temperature was so high that I began to sweat as I held her. She was so congested that I could feel her chest rattle as she labored to breathe. The only way she could communicate her discomfort was by crying. Although I was completely helpless to alleviate her discomfort, I walked with her and sang to her. As I did this my heart was filled with an overwhelming sense of love. When she finally fell asleep in my arms it was one of the most satisfying moments of my life. It felt right. It felt as if I were doing what God created me to do.

On another occasion, I had the joy of tucking in the older girls for the night. As with most children, they didn't want to go to sleep when they were supposed to. To get them to fall asleep I told them a story and sang them a song.

Then came the good night kiss game. I would kiss one girl on the cheek and then go to the next. When I finished my rounds the first girl would say "One more last kiss, Ate." And it started all over again. We went through the whole process countless times before it was finally the last time and I closed the door behind me.

As I left my heart was filled with more love than I had ever felt before. I felt as if I could spend the rest of my life being with these kids and being truly happy. I do not know what the rest of the Race holds for me, but if it is anything like what I experienced with these children, then I look forward to every minute of it.

Redneck Woman

Mon, 27 Sep 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Red Neck Woman

The term red neck has come to mean a bad thing in the United States or at least in the areas with which I am familiar. However, it did not begin that way. The name was originally given to hard working people such as farmers who were out in the sun all day. They wore hats to protect their faces but the backs of their necks were burned from the sun hence the nickname. This month I have become a red neck woman.

For my first month of ministry, I am in Malaybalay on the island of Mindinao, Philippines. My team and I are blessed to be partnered with a wonderful ministry called Kids International Ministries (KIM). The focus of KIM in Malaybalay is New Faith Family Children's Home and MT. Moriah Christian Camp. So, in this first month God has blessed me to be able to do my heart's desires. I get to work several shifts per week at the children's home. I have chosen to work primarily with the infants and toddlers. There are about five toddlers and two beautiful babies. These children have stolen my heart and it will be so hard to leave them in two short weeks.

Our other main task this month has been to clear an area that, when completed, will be used to host soccer tournaments. We began by clearing the area of rocks and the wrong kind of grass. The ministry then brought in a grader to level the ground. This week we have to dig about 48,000 8 inch by 8 inch squares of sod to be planted on the field. In addition to this large project we have also been working on several smaller ones. We have been spreading rock and sand near the dining area to keep it from flooding when it rains. We have also dug a drainage ditch around the outside of the dining area to help divert the water. Stairs down the hill to our living area have also been improved. Although I have been really tired and a little sun burned each day, the work has been really rewarding and I can't wait to see the finished product.

To be honest, I feel like we are being spoiled this month, but I will enjoy every minute because I know it will not always be this way. We are living dorm style and have running water for showers (although it is REALLY cold water). Our meals are prepared for us six days of the week, and the food has been amazing!! On Sundays we get to prepare our own meals and this has been really fun. I have learned a lot about cooking on a fire but have come to appreciate my stove much more and this is only the first week!!

Alabaster Offering

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 00:00:00 GMT

One of my favorite scriptures of all time is Luke 7:36-50. In this scripture Jesus was invited by a Pharisee named Simon to have a meal at his home. While there, a woman only known as the sinful woman came and began to wash Jesus' feet with her tears, dry them with her hair, and then opened an alabaster jar of ointment and anointed his feet. Then Simon thought to himself, "If this man were really a prophet he would know that this is a sinful woman that is touching him." Because Jesus knew what was in Simon's heart, he told Simon a story. Jesus said, "Two men owed money to a moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to repay him so he canceled both debts. Which of these men loved him more?" Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the biggest debt canceled." Jesus said, "You have judged correctly." Jesus then turned toward the woman while saying to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your home and you did not give me any water for my feet. She has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman has not stopped kissing my feet from the time she entered. You did not give me oil for my head, but she has put perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you her many sins are forgiven because she has loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you. Go in peace."

I imagine that when this woman entered the Pharisee's home she was not noticed by many of those present. Or if they did notice her, they judged her in their hearts because of what she had done in her past. She was probably vividly aware of what others thought of her, but she did not let it stop her from coming to Jesus and pouring her heart out to him. When she broke her alabaster jar and anointed Jesus' feet she was giving to Him the best of what she had. This jar of ointment represented a time in her life when she was full of hope and expectation of what life would bring to her. It represented all the hopes and dreams that she held dear in her heart. It represented all that was good about her.

As I think about this act of love, I ask myself what is in my alabaster jar? What am I holding in my heart that Jesus wants me to lay at his feet so that he can bring love, healing, and restoration?

For most of my life I have longed for a husband. I have prayed for this many times and yet here I am 37 years old and still not married. I have recently realized that this led me to put up a barrier in my heart and believe that I am not worthy of love. I walked daily in a spirit of rejection believing I was never good enough for anything or anyone. I became a people pleaser and learned that doing things for others sometimes led me to feel accepted. Ultimately, this barrier to love has caused me a lot of pain, but because it was such a defining part of myself I held it in my jar.

I now choose to come to Jesus and lay this at his feet. I choose to accept and believe his love for me. I choose to walk in his love daily. I imagine him looking at me with His huge smile and open arms drawing me in for a hug, and it makes my heart happy.

So the question I am asking all of you is the same I ask myself. What is in your alabaster jar?